Your Window of Tolerance: What to Do When You're Feeling Numb or Overwhelmed
- bente140
- 7 hours ago
- 3 min read
We’ve all been there at some point in our lives. One minute we’re laughing so hard our sides ache, the next we’re crying at the dead ladybug on the sidewalk. In the morning we feel ready to take on the world, in the afternoon one look from our coworker leaves us doubting our own self-worth.
If we think of our psyche as a thermometer, there’s a temperature range at which we can comfortably live and function. Then there’s a low point where things become too cold and we might freeze, and a high point where things become too hot and we might suffer heat stroke.
We often refer to that space between the low point and high point, where we can function relatively well, as our Window of Tolerance.
For some of us our window of tolerance is wide, the low point and high point are far apart. For others the window of tolerance is narrow, the low point and high point are very close together.
When we find our emotions taking over in unexpected ways, the trick becomes:
Identifying where we are relative to our window of tolerance. Did we hit a temperature that’s too low? Or too high?
Utilizing coping strategies to either raise the temperature so that we’re no longer too cold, or lower the temperature so that we’re no longer overheating. Whatever’s needed to bring us back into our window of tolerance.
Figuring out what factors led to us getting pushed out of our window of tolerance. Life is all about that learning process.
So what kind of coping strategies might we use once we’ve identified our internal “temperature”? There’s as many different options as there are people!
| Just remember, if you have any underlying mental health or physical health issues to consult your therapist and/or doctor before implementing new techniques |
When your internal “temperature” gets too cold (you’re feeling sad, low energy, numb, apathetic, etc.), you’re looking for strategies that rebuild energy.
Get your body moving in some small way. Perhaps stretching, a dance break, a walk. Some people enjoy listening to a high energy playlist while they move.
Help your mind check back in when it’s checked out. Use your senses. Perhaps eat something delicious, drink something warm, hold something cold.
Give yourself time to mindfully recharge. Do you enjoy bubble baths? A good book? A badly needed nap? Anything other than doomscrolling is a great place to start.
When your internal “temperature” gets too hot (you’re feeling overly jittery, your thoughts won’t stop racing, you might be quicker to anger, etc), you’re looking for strategies to calm energy.
Rhythm, rhythm, rhythm is your friend. Perhaps swing on a swingset for 10 minutes (the back and forth motion can help with regulation), go for a walk (steady, even steps), do some yoga, practice some structured breathing exercises (think box breathing or the 4-7-8 technique).
Help your mind find its focus again. Perhaps word dump everything onto a page and go from there, or practice a meditation or two using any app or Youtube video you like.
Check in on your body’s needs. Is it hungry or thirsty? Tired? In pain? Make certain basic needs are met that might be adding to your general agitation.
The options are endless, and trial and error is your friend for finding what works for you.